It's easy for anyone to say that, “Why did it take you so long to realize you are an Introvert?” It’s not that simple. The problem is that labelling someone as an Introvert is a very shallow assessment, full of common misconceptions. It’s more complex than that.
During Degree college days, I struggled with the fact that I had no social life; noone to go out or party. I always thought that there is something wrong with me. I always enjoyed stayed at home watching movie in my lappie till late night, while my friends were out partying. Those were days I hated those introverted character traits. I was not willing to accept myself, I wanted to ignore my personality of being an introvert and become an extrovert, which I failed miserably.
I am an introvert. This was something which I myself failed to accept for a long period of time. When I asked my couple of my friends, I got responses like, “You are so talkative” or “I remember you as so outgoing” “You are not an introvert.”
All of them probably based their idea of who I am on what they see on the outside, They see me as talkative person because they have'nt seen inner self of mine. They haven't seen what I do in my private space. I try to go out into social situations only when I have built up enough social energy to carry on a conversation.
There are times when I spent sitting alone, thinking a lot. Sometimes walking here and there for no reason. I pressurised myself so much that for being extrovert. It pushed me into depression more.
I can talk at length, and even in front of a large number of crowd in an auditorium, about any topic. But it's impossible for me to speak always. The public speaking certification course helped a bit.
Let's face it. we admire the outgoing, bold & confident risk takers. We look down upon the silent, soft spoken and not so sociable person as shy and lacks confident. This is the problem of living in an extrovert world as an Introvert.
I really wanted to connect with people. I wanted them to like me, and I wanted to have deep meaningful relationships all around. I wanted to be the popular guy among the group. I tried being all that, but I failed miserably every time. I again felt depressed, blaming myself a lot.
This was the driving force of my transformation, and without that I wouldn't have been so far. 5 years , it took 5 fucking years to find a happy balance between the two personality types and become able to communicate with the rest of the world. I feel so better confident now. I feel so much better now. I am ready to accept that I am introvert. I like being alone most of the time.
And Trust me friends, There is nothing wrong in being an Introvert. You are unique. You don't have to an Extrovert survive in this world.