Tuesday, 20 January 2015

Picking myself up and starting all over again



Did I metaphorically pick myself up, dust myself off, and start all over again? I have done it many times. When I lost job and got things very messed up in life. I got really wound up in a full body cast manner as some people let down & betrayed me, I had to learn how to walk all over again. It was a painful process and took what seemed like an eternity for me to start all over again. But I was so focused on chasing the idea of perfect life, I didn't learn how to read the signs. How to find out the ones who want me,who really care about me and the ones who don't, the ones who will stay and the ones who will leave.

Starting all over again meant it's me, It's just me on my own, picking up the pieces and starting over again, freeing myself from all miseries up for something better in the future. Maybe all that happened was meant for something good and its good to keep moving on. Maybe, after all those miseries,fights,broken-hearts, through the blunders and misread signals, through all the pain and embarrassment its time to never gave up hope. When I lost my job recently, I had to do it again—I had to repeat the entire process.

I often speak of former lives: careers won and lost; futures not quite lived up to with expectations blah blah. Life before all the emotional and psychological pains blended with the emotional ones. I had to start all over again several times; trying to rebuild confidence and courage, Just not to give up in life. Life taught me to be independent and resilient. Sometimes you need those inherent power within you, when you tend to find yourself flat on your back, staring up at the sky or the ceiling.

Well, if you have tripped and fallen, you probably already have some bruises, so you don’t need to beat yourself up about it. The thing is that sometimes you fall due to circumstances beyond your control. It’s not your fault. I always kept on blaming myself for all the past mistakes, I did. Things happen, and it can be easier to use your emotional remote control to replay things over and over again than to get up, and manually hit pause, or better yet, erase.

And, sometimes when you fall, you might need a hand for getting up off the ground. If some one reaches out to help, you get back on your feet, consider their offer. Don’t hurt that person, It’s not weakness, but giving up is or losing control: it’s the recognition that there will be times when picking yourself up, dusting yourself off, and starting all over again can only be done by accepting help from another person who really care about you, not the one pretend to play martyrdom.